While it breaks my heart to see someone else go through this, I so wish that I have had this article to show people for the past 25 years. I’m sure that they’d ignore it and continue to feed me the bs that the fish are alive and not give up hope that they’d come back one day, but at least when i was/am drowning in the utter loneliness and desperation to be heard, I’d know that someone else out there truly understood.
Allie does an amazing of describing depression — at least the kind that I’ve dealt with for most of my life. And she also explains what it’s like to be suicidal. i know that it’s a difficult conversation to have, especially when people don’t understand how one could feel that way but she nailed it with her explanation of coming to certain realizations and then being in a position to “comfort” other people when you try to share what you are feeling with them.
And the part where her dog looks at her and she wishes that nothing else loved her so that she wouldn’t feel obligated to keep on existing? That is what I have gone through countless times — my one cat loves me like no one else ever has in my entire life, and like no one else ever will. Knowing that she would not understand and feel alone is usually the only thing that keeps me here when my life and future seems like such a pointless waste.